To Love Or Not To Love

I could never comprehend your way of thinking, from the very start till the present. Every action you take kept me thinking, "Is this a sign, or just some unimportant gesture?" When I'm alone and I think about you, I think of us, together, being happy. On the other hand, I am afraid that I have made my dreams too high, too over confident about your feelings towards me. At other times, I am afraid that I could possibly fall too hard, not achieving every little part, and breaking myself apart. So the question is, to love or not to love?

It's an absolute statement that I love being around you. Your quirkiness, your wittiness, and your rude behavior -- shines my day every time we interact. People say the best way to make someone to love you is to make him or her laugh. It's funny how it's the only strategy I have to make you close to me, and that it was an enormous achievement to have successfully made you laugh.

Beyond annoying to know the fact that I am the one that only puts the effort: by being curious about you, by having the urge to know more and more about you, and that you have little (or may be no) interest towards me. Pathetic to know, to be honest. But what can I say?

Love, even this little puppy love, takes time. And if somewhere right in the middle, signs show that we are not meant to be created, then I by perforce have to let you leave, let the spark leave, and seek for someone better, and the cycle repeats. The cycle which goes, happy in the beginning, unsure in the middle, and heart broken in the end, or the cycle which goes, happy in the beginning, happy in the middle and happy in the end. My choice.

19th June

It was never my annual activity to celebrate events like Father's Day, let alone to cook its dishes. Not because I don't love my father, but I never could understand the value of those events. Although I still remain not celebrating Father's Day, this year I decided to make my own choice of Father's Day dessert, Pavlova. In the end, the only person who enjoyed the desert was not my father, but my cousin instead.

Pavlova is basically a meringue based dessert with fruit toppings. The crunch on the surface and the marshmallowy texture inside makes me crave for more. Not to mention the different flavors of the toppings.. Pavlova is not a doubt my absolute fave.

Pavlova

Ingredients:

6 egg whites (room temperature)

1 cup superfine sugar

2 tsp corn flour

pinch of baking powder

2 tsp vanilla essence

1 tsp white vinegar

200 ml whipping cream

pinch of salt

a selection of tropical fruits

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 170ºC. Line a baking tray with baking paper. Draw a 18cm circle on the paper.

2. Whisk the eggs using your mixer  on medium speed until soft peaks are formed. Gradually add the sugar on high speed until the egg whites turn into stiff peaks. 

3. Sprinkle over corn flour, baking powder, vinegar, salt and vanilla essence. Beat until all the sugar is dissolved. To tell if the sugar is dissolved, rub the foam with your fingers. If it feels gritty, then beat again for a few minutes. 

4. Mould the mixture within the circle. Place it in the oven for about 45 minutes.

5. Turn off the oven, leave the pavlova to cool. 

6. Add the cream on the surface. Decorate the pavlova with the selection of fruits.

Berries!

I have never loved eating berries until my Canadian interchange partner asked me to pick (and eat) blackberries from her grandparents' garden. Since then, I could never resist not buying packets, even very little packets of any berries, particularly blackberries from a fruit grocery.

This morning I craved for berries and went to a fruit grocery to buy 4 packets of different berries -- strawberries, cherries, blueberries and blackberries. Since I hate cooking using the oven, what immediately comes to my mind was making a summer pudding.

Summer Fruit Pudding

Ingredients

150g strawberries

150g blackberries

150g cherries

150g blueberries

4 - 5 medium sliced white bread from a large loaf

1/3 cup honey

2 soufflé molds (or any other small molds)

Directions

1. Reserve a few of each berries on a paper towel. Place remaining berries and honey in a saucepan, heat for about 5 minutes.

2. Strain the berries from the juice and set aside. 

3. Trim the bread to fit the mold, dip into the syrup thoroughly and then place into the mold.

4. Fill the bread lined mold with the berries. Place another piece of bread on top.

5. Weigh down in the fridge for about an hour.

6. Turn over and unmold the pudding, serve with fresh berries and the berry syrup.